Facade
by klutzysunshine
Summary: Miguel takes one look at Kevin and instantly knows something is wrong with his stepson.


**I don't own This Is Us nor will I ever. No copyright infringement intended. Warnings for mentions of a miscarriage, drug addiction, alcoholism, and depression.**

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Miguel took one look at Kevin and instantly knew something was wrong with his stepson. Besides the beard, he looked off and his eyes were bloodshot. And the way he was clutching the bottle of alcohol worried Miguel. Whenever he tried to broach the subject with him, somebody was always there, and Miguel didn't want to embarrass Kevin in front of their family. Approaching him in private was the best option so he waited until everyone else went outside to play in the snow. "You don't want to be out there with everybody?" Kevin questioned.

"I could ask you the same thing. Is everything okay?" Miguel pressed.

Kevin rolled his eyes but Miguel could tell the action was halfhearted. "Why are you bothering me?" he deflected.

"Because you look like a lumberjack - you're obviously not taking care of yourself, you haven't once let go of that bottle and are nearly done with it, your eyes are bloodshot, and you're obviously upset. You want to tell me what's wrong?"

"Leave me alone, Miguel. You have nothing to do with this," Kevin snapped.

Although he was resisting, Miguel could tell that Kevin was thisclose to snapping and wanted someone to talk to. "Are you sure about that?" he pressed.

"Damn it, Miguel! Why can't you leave things alone? I'm fine," Kevin lied, and his voice betrayed him by breaking. He had wanted someone to notice how badly broken he truly was but hadn't expected it to be Miguel.

"You can talk to me. I'll listen, Kevin." Miguel took a few steps forward and stopped dead in his tracks when Kevin's face crumpled.

Kevin set the bottle down on the table as his vision blurred. "Fuck!" he shouted and then turned around to try to compose himself. He couldn't afford to fall apart now - Kate's problems were more important than his own.

"Kevin, look at me," Miguel urged.

Kevin spun back around and tears were pouring down his face. "Help me. Please help me, Miguel. Please," he begged.

Miguel took a few steps forward so he was right in front of Kevin and placed his hands on his stepson's shoulders to ground him. "Tell me what's wrong so I can help you. I can't help you if I don't know what the problem is." Some of the problem was obvious but Kevin needed to admit it.

"Help," Kevin pleaded, his breath hitching.

"I'm going to, Kev." Miguel was thankful no one was around to witness Kevin's breakdown because it would not have gone well, especially with how nosey their family tended to be.

Kevin took a few deep breaths before he cracked completely. "I miss my dad. I want him back, Miguel. I want him back."

Miguel's heart broke. "I know you do, bud. I miss him too."

"I can't do this anymore. I can't. I can't. I can't." Kevin's life was imploding and everything was rising to the surface because Miguel just had to see through his facade and couldn't leave it alone.

That sent a sliver of fear coursing through his body but Miguel chose to ignore it for a few minutes. He resisted telling Kevin that everything was going to be okay because it clearly wasn't. "What else is wrong?" he questioned.

"Everything. I'm broken - an empty shell. There's nothing left inside of me, and I keep fucking everything up. The Vicodin and alcohol aren't even numbing me, and I know it's wrong, but I can't stop. I miss Dad. Dad would know how to help Kate and wouldn't fuck it up like I did. I was so lost in my own problems I didn't even answer the phone when she called to tell me, and then I was selfish enough to wish somebody would notice me for once. Everything hurts." Kevin whimpered and then finally burst into sobs. His knees buckled, and Miguel went down with him to the floor. He cupped Kevin's head in his hands and held him as the younger man sobbed.

"You're safe, Kevin." Miguel's mind raced as he considered the fact that Kevin was likely suffering from depression, and definitely needed rehab because he was obviously an addict. How had no one else seen this? He didn't blame Kate too much because she was still dealing with the fallout from her miscarriage but somebody else should have noticed how unwell Kevin clearly was.

"Help," Kevin sobbed, his whole body shuddering. As much as he disliked Miguel, he was grateful and appreciative of his stepfather's comfort in this moment.

"We'll get you some help, Kevin. You're not alone and you're never going to be. We're right there and we'll support you during your recovery. Don't you worry about that." Miguel cringed when the door opened and their family loudly stepped inside but Kevin still continued to shake as the sobs wracked his body.

Rebecca immediately rushed over and squatted down next to them. "What happened?" she demanded.

"I'll explain in a little while," Miguel whispered, not wanting to upset Kevin even further or cause him to retreat into himself once more.

Kevin's sobs gradually began to taper off and he gently pushed Miguel off him so he could head to the couch. He fell asleep within seconds. When Miguel finally walked into Randall's dining room, the kids were nowhere to be seen. "Where are the girls?"

"We sent them upstairs," Beth answered.

"What's going on?" Rebecca pressed.

Miguel tried to rein in his anger but failed. "Did no one of you notice Kevin was spiraling?"

Rebecca, Randall, Kate, and Toby exchanged some confused glances and then shook their heads. "No," Kate finally admitted, shameful.

"Were you all too wrapped in your own problems that you didn't even see what was right in front of you? I think Kevin's been tailspinning for a long time." Miguel sighed. "He's been drinking a lot, and I believe he's been downing Vicodin for a while too."

Rebecca gasped and her eyes filled with tears. "He's an alcoholic?" A drug addict too, if Miguel was right, but she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. She should have paid better attention to her children - especially Kevin - but they were grown adults. She hoped they had been able to work through their grief. That thought was obviously mistaken, and she had fucked up along the way.

Miguel nodded. "Yes, and I'm pretty sure he's also suffering from depression. We need to get him into rehab as soon as possible so can somebody start looking?"

Randall scrambled up from his chair and ran to find his laptop. "We'll get him into the best facility there is," he vowed upon returning.

"This is my twin, and I was too lost in my own grief to see how upset he was." Kate hated herself for ignoring the signs that was now obvious.

"Kate, you miscarried. It was okay to focus on yourself. Don't blame yourself," Beth consoled.

"Shit," Randall said. When they all turned to stare at him, he began to explain. "He came to talk to me a while back, said he had something to talk to me about, but then I mentioned Kate lost the baby. He said he didn't know about the miscarriage so maybe he came me to help? And I ignored him." How could he ever make up for this?

Miguel held up his hand. "I know you're all upset and you have every right to be because you missed the obvious signs but stop playing the blame game. What matters now is Kevin and his recovery. We need to be there for him and none of us can fuck this up. He is our priority from now on."

"Thank you for comforting him when he needed help," Rebecca whispered when the others began to search for reputable rehabs.

He just shrugged. "He was crying for help, and I stepped up to the plate. That's all there is to it."

When he woke up the next morning, an embarrassed Kevin tried to apologize to Miguel for melting down on him but he'd have none of it. And with his family's support, he checked into rehab just hours later and began to receive the help he so desperately needed. Kevin wasn't alone, no matter what he thought, and never would be. And his relationship with Miguel changed for the better after that since Kevin never once forgot what he did.


End file.
